What Happened to My Sist[ah]'s Keeper?

Sistahs, we have a problem. Over the past few months it has become apparent to me that there is a epidemic of negative attitudes toward one another in our community, possibly stemming from jealousy, competition, paranoia and maybe even flat-out hatred. My question is why? I go to one of the most prestigious historically black institutions in the nation and I am sick and tired of seeing girls give each other these up-and-down looks, side-eyes and fake smiles. What happened to sisterhood?

This summer, I was so excited when I found out that I would be working under a black woman. Initially, she welcomed me with open arms, keeping an extremely casual tone. She even sent me to one of the most amazing conferences that I've ever attended. I felt so grateful to be able to develop a relationship with such a strong, accomplished black woman, while also making my mark in the corporate world. However, over time she began to change. Whether it was from pressure from within the company or issues at home, I don't know- but her warm demeanor quickly changed to distant, cold and finally...downright hostile. She would tell me, "It's so great to have another one of 'us' in the office. I see myself in you and my only hope is that you can one day take my position and continue what we've started." Literally, in the same breath, her tone would change and she would say something like, "I don't have time to answer any of your questions. This internship is YOUR responsibility so figure it out and get out of my office." Weird, huh?

Pretty soon, our daily meetings became a routine of her closing the door then proceeding to verbally berate me about everything from incorrect usage of a gerund in my story to the family vacation I had told her about at the beginning of the summer. It made no sense to me why she had become so different, but I initially blamed myself and took it as a lesson in getting a thicker skin. Everyday, I would dart out of her office and quickly walk to the bathroom before my eyes overflowed. I began to dread seeing her at work as I desperately tried to self-correct the never-ending issues that she had with me. I read the A.P. Style Book from cover to cover, studied the company writing manual and offered to cancel the one vacation that I had planned. What I never planned to do was report her. As one of the only other black women at the company, I couldn't even fathom jeopardizing her career with what I saw as petty complaints. My goal was to continuously let her know that I was on her side...on her team. Unfortunately, that effort wasn't received well either. I was starting to understand the wary looks that I received when I initially described my manager to other black women. How had they foreseen issues on the horizon? My naivete had led me to think very differently.

Since my own personal experience with working with black women, I have witnessed so many other incidences between black women in the workplace. One incident happened last night when the women from Housekeeping came to clean my dorm in preparation for the student move-in today. These women strolled in with their new supervisor (another black woman) and proceeded to the seven floors to begin cleaning as the supervisor left. One hour later, my dorm director was surprised to see them gathered in one of the rooms bashing the new supervisor. After confronting them, they dispersed to clean again, and left after 30 minutes of working. We quickly discovered that a thorough cleaning had NOT been done, in a clear attempt to sabotage the new supervisor.

Sistahs, seriously, what happened to sisterhood? Sure, we don't all have to love each other but respect should be a minimum. Desire for each other to succeed to should be a given. What most of us fail to realize is that when you try to sabotage one of us...you sabotage all of us. As a unit, you make us all look bad. This competitive catty interaction is not even natural or native to our community! In the beginning, we were our sisters' keepers. In this capitalistic society, are we now our sisters' enemies? We desperately need to bring the greater family back into our communities, because without unity we can NEVER move forward. We need to be a family that is happy when the other succeeds- not threatened and jealous. I've talked to God about the promise land and He tells me that there's more than enough room at the top. Other communities know this and reach back to help each other up. We need to stop competing with each other and band together. We always complain about people holding us back...but could it be that we're so indoctrinated that we're holding ourselves back?

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds. -Bob Marley

So, to quickly sum up the experience with my manager- let's just say that God stepped in and said, "ENOUGH." After one particular incident of her harassing me without clear reason, I left her office and was immediately faced by my manager's boss (the woman who hired me) standing on the other side of the door. She had overheard the entire conversation and was outraged. It turned out that several other employees had reported my manager for various reasons. I guess my situation was the icing on the cake. I was immediately transferred to a different manager and interestingly enough, my previous manager was laid off at the end of the summer. I hate that we were never able to talk and figure out why it did not work out but it was clear that for some reason, she felt threatened by her intern's acceptance and progress at the organization. That is something I will never understand and I cannot wait to become successful so I can do the opposite for my predecessors.

Sistahs, it's up to each us to change this epidemic of negativity toward one another. We have to stop feeling threatened by each others' successes and try to realize that God has so much in store for all of us. Let's bring the sisterhood back to our community and start lifting each other up- our sisters desperately need to be kept.